My Top 5 Tips: How to Make Friends

vanessa ainsley friends

Do you want to learn how to make friends? This is something that I probably get the most questions about. People wonder how I have so many friends, how I’m constantly with new people, how I make new friends, where I find friends, etc. Some common things that I hear…

“I always hang out with the same people and I don’t know how branch out.”
“I’ve tried online apps but never make real connections.”
“I never meet new people.”
“I am not as outgoing as you; I’m afraid of talking to new people.”

If you want new/more friends and you’re not making them, there’s something you need to change or something new that you have to do.

Before I get into my top tips, first thing’s first – check your mindset! Are you telling yourself that you’re unworthy of friends? That people won’t like you? That people will think you’re weird for reaching out to them? Don’t let the self limiting beliefs get you down. Change the way you think. Put yourself out there!!!

My tips:

1. Talk to strangers

Talk to people in cafes, at the grocery store, while in line somewhere, anywhere! Find some common ground, and go with it. You can start a conversation about anything at all! You can give recommendations or ask for recommendations, you can connect through something that the person is wearing or reading, you can ask about things they’ve bought (if they have shopping bags from a store you like, for example), etc. If you’re by yourself at a cafe/restaurant, ask someone if you can join their table, or if you see a line-up for seats and you have one available at your table, ask people to join you.

2. Make meaningful connections online

I’ve made tonssss of friends through Instagram. I follow people for a while, I comment on their posts, I reply to their IG stories. And if we’re in the same city, I just DM them and ask them to hang out! With this, please exercise proper precaution, as not everyone is who they say they are online. Always meet in a public place, tell someone where you’ll be, and stay safe.

3. Join clubs or FB groups

Find clubs or groups in your area with a common interest, like a hobby or lifestyle, and go to their events. Lots of clubs have weekly/monthly meet-ups or events, and there are often free ones. Attend! And be sure to refer back to tip #1 while you’re there. Get involved and don’t be afraid to speak to people!

4. Ask your current network for introductions

If you’re in a new city and you don’t have any friends yet, ask your own network! Ask your friends/family/coworkers if they have any friends that they could introduce you to in your new city. But even if you’re not in a new city, tell your friends that you want to meet new people and ask your them to invite you to gatherings/dinners/parties with their friends that you don’t know yet. Don’t be shy to ask for introductions. I’m sure your friends would be more than happy to help!

5. Take up a hobby or sport or volunteering activity that involves others

Join a sports team, go to a dance class, take up a workshop, volunteer with a cause that speaks to you, etc. If possible, try to enrol in something that is continuous for a few weeks, so that you can see the same people repeatedly and make those connections.

If you’re serious about making new friends, you really need to put yourself out there. Just go for it. Start talking to people. I know that it can seem scary at first, but the more you do it, the easier it becomes. I can now approach a group of people and ask if I can join them. People are a lot friendlier than you think! And if you ever get rejected, don’t worry; they were not your people!

Also, if you’re ever in the same city as me, feel free to DM me! Always love meeting you guys!! 🙂

Did I miss anything out? Feel free to comment your tips to making new friends below!! x

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